spikegifted - Random thoughts
|Age of Consent|
August 30, 2003
Hey, those kids can have sex as young as they want, as long as they both consent and they don't ended up being teenage parents.
Agree to have sex is just fine by me... But having kids is a complete different matter!!
Think about it, for those of you who are in your late 20s... Take yourselves back to your teenage years and be honest with yourselves - how many of you actually knew what you were doing? This is not a trick question. Also, you need to distinguish between 'really knew what you were doing' and 'actually thought you knew what you were doing'! Those two are very different things.
Since the title of this thread doesn't seem to directly related to teenage parenthood, I'll leave it at that. If there's more discussions, I'd return with some of my, some may think rather old fashion. thoughts.
August 31, 2003
The British - that's the parents, the education system and even older kids - have this problem with communicating and educating yound kids about sex. It's almost like a taboo...
I agree with fondie that we need to somehow educate kids about sex, but clearly the current method of education is somewhat lacking. Kids don't want to be given condescending or patronizing lessons about sex! No, they want it straight and they want it fast. So give it to them, straight. Don't give them those lines like those seen in That'll teach 'em: "Self-abuse is wrong! Self-abuse is immoral! God said so!!"
No!! Give it to them like it is: "You want to 'relieve' yourself? Fine, just don't make a mess on the sheets - someone has to clean it up, you know!" or "You want to send your regards to Mother Hand and her lovely Five Daughters? That's ok! Everyone does it or have been doing it - since time began. It's good for your blood pressure... Just clean up the mess afterwards, though." or "Want a bit of visual aid to help you out when you're doing the business? Fine. Here's some p0rn0. Just remember, these guys and gals are professionals so don't even think you can do what they do, right?"
Why bother hiding this rather enjoyable activity? And I don't mean 'relieving' yourself - I'm talking about sex. It's great! It's enjoyable! For god's sake, it gives you cardiovascular exercise, it can make you reasonably fit, it give you and your partner a good time (if you guys can figure it out) and it can make you feel happy (thanks to all the hormones released during the process of sex). What more do you want?
Not talking about doesn't make the 'problem' go away. Not talking about make people ignorant of the 'problem'. Not talking about produces generations of teenage mothers. I've actually met a grandmother who's in her late 30s!! It is exactly because people don't talk about it or talk about in such taboo terms that the meaning is completely lost in the hide-and-seek process!
It is by talking to kids about sex in a sensible manner, one which doesn't hide behind stupid taboo, that you get the message across - "Sex is great, just be careful! Take the necessary precautions and you'd have many years of enjoyment. Good hunting!!" Kids, teenager in particular, don't want to be treated like monkeys. They want your respect, your understanding, your support and, most of all, your willingness to empower them. If you don't talk to them about what they need to know, in this case - about sex, you're actually hindering their developments and you're allowing them to make the most horrible mistakes.
Yes, people are stupid, but the individual is intelligent (in most cases). Educating or talking about sex is a one-to-one process - the most appropriate by the parents to their kids. But in most cases, the parents don't know what to tell the kids! All because they don't even talk about sex openly between themselves.
It was a long time ago, when I was 19, when my mom (who's a committed Christian) said to me: "I know you're going to sleep with women. I don't want to know if you've already slept with women. All I want to tell you is - don't make someone's 'tummy big' if you don't plan to and don't go and catch diseases." It was simple; it was direct and I got the message. I'm no wiser than others, but I got the message. God bless you, mom.
August 31, 2003
Why are you talking about drugs and drinking? Having too much sex or masturbate too often will not kill you - but both drugs and drinks will kill you. These are very different issues and you're using my examples for one situation and substituted them into another one. Poor show!
Teenagers and kids need support and respect, etc, even before they make mistakes. By the time they are able to make mistakes, it's too late to give them support and respect as they don't think they need them from the parents anymore.
Just like anything in life, excess usage of porn is not good. If parents allow their kids to use porn, they should make it clear that these guys are actors - they're portraying something that is not real life. Watching Superman movie doesn't mean there're people flying overhead un-aided. Likewise, the same logic should applied to porn.
I'm glad you agree with me on the roles of the parents. Delegating parental responsibility to formal organized education media is negligence on the parents' part.
There are number of other issues you raised in your post. I'd love to answer them, but I don't think this thread is the right place for them, so I'll keep them to myself...
August 31, 2003
Unfortunately, IMHO, giving kids free condoms is going to do jack!! It's like giving someone a gun doesn't make him/her a murderer...